Tuesday, October 28, 2008

It's okay, I'm from Iowa...

You know you're from Iowa if...

  • Vacation means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland.
  • Down South to you means Missouri.
  • You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Moines".
  • You know the answer to the question: "Is this Heaven?"
  • You know where all the Yoders live (or Andersons, or Van den Bergs).
  • You know what "Hawks" and "Clones" are.
  • All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable.
  • You can locate Iowa on the map.
  • You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt".
  • Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and is accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.
  • You say "catty-wampus" instead of "kitty-corner".
  • You've never taken public transportation.
  • You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly.
  • You know what "Amish Country" is.
  • The only reason you go to Wisconsin or Missouri is to get fireworks.
  • You know exactly where "Field of Dreams" was filmed.
  • When someone says they are going out for dinner or supper, you know which meal they are talking about.
  • You're pulled over and asked by the cop, "Had a little to much to drink, (insert your first name here)?
  • You can use the words, 'crik', 'holler', and 'skunk weed', all in the same sentence.
  • Your Christmas gift when you were ten years old was a shotgun (a BB gun if you were a 'townie').
  • You've had sex in the back of a truck ... amid cows.
  • You know that cows don't sleep standing up.
  • You're concerned about the rates of corn growth in Illinois as compared to that of Iowa's.
  • You believe that trees in Iowa lean towards Nebraska ... because Nebraska sucks!
  • You know several people who still refer to Japanese cars as "rice-burners."
  • "Styx" plays a concert at the county fair, and people actually show up.
  • You don't get nervous when you walk into a biker bar (unless you're an Iowa City cop).
  • You judge distance by the time it takes you to get somewhere instead of by miles.(Example: Des Moines is about an hour from Creston.)
  • You say pop instead of soda.

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